You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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