That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
