I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Pooping to opera.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
