Walk of Shame. In a state park.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
