Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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