# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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