haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
