I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
