He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
