dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
