Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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