All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
