Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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