I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
