We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
