I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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