at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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