I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
