Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
