my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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