Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
