Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
what day is it and did you see me today?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
