Can i not drive my cunt home
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
