i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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