The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
