You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
