Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Randomize
