Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
