Moan for me like Helen Keller
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
