found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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