well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
