Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
