Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
