He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
