Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Let's paint friendship bongs
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Is Oprah even human
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
