id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
