maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
