I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
