pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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