The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
