either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
