they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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