U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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