Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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