chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
