Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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