All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
