I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
