So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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