Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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