I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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